Kid connected: Younger users need to understand cell phones are a privilege, not a right

With their rise in popularity and widespread use during the last decade, cellular phones have become a new rite of passage for many children and teenagers.

Cell phones allow busy families to stay connected while offering convenience and an added sense of safety, said Christine Paulsen, U.S. Cellular director of sales for Nebraska and southwest Iowa.

"I do think there's an age when it becomes a necessity for parents, and it puts your mind at ease," Paulsen said.

But, much like earning the right to drive, parents should think of their child's cell phone use as a freedom that needs to be closely monitored -- not just an added convenience, said Melanie Denney, a counselor at Adams Central High School in Hastings.

Parents should evaluate their child's level of trustworthiness and maturity before allowing them to have their own phone, said Seanne Larson Emerton, a certified counselor and founder of Family Resources of Greater Nebraska.

"It's a real individual, case-by-case situation," Emerton said.

Depending on the child's age and maturity level, parents should start their child off with a limited amount of cell phone freedom, Denney said.

For a pre-teen, parents might want to consider first purchasing a phone that has only a few calling capabilities.

For example, some models of the Firefly phone only have a handful of pre-programmed buttons, allowing parents to limit the numbers their child can call, said Steve Hosid, president of the consumer division at Viaero Wireless.

Also, some regular cell phone models can be programmed to restrict incoming and outgoing calls to a list of certain phone numbers.

Emerton and Denney strongly caution parents against starting their children off with unlimited access to cell phone features like text messaging.

Text messaging should be saved for only the most responsible teenagers, Emerton said, as it is a tool that can easily become addictive and misused.

If a child is able to show self-discipline in his or her initial cell phone use, text messaging could be added later.

"It's a gradual freedom that's earned," Denney said.

Parents should work closely with their wireless provider to find the right phone and plan for their child and their budget, Paulsen said.

Cell phones can serve as a great teaching tool for families, Emerton said. At the same time, parents should keep in mind that ensuring a child is using a cell phone responsibly will likely take a good deal of energy.

Once parents have chosen a phone and a plan, they need to sit down with their child and lay the ground rules for cell phone use, Emerton said.

Parents may start out by allowing their child to use the phone only in emergencies or to call for rides after activities. They may also want to restrict who their child can call and how long they can talk.

Paulsen suggests parents check with their child's school to find out its rules on cell phone use. That way, parents and children can discuss those guidelines and ensure they are respected.

Children should be aware of how much the cell phone plan costs -- especially if the parent is paying for it -- and the penalties for misuse, Emerton said.

"It's a privilege," Emerton said. "It's not just an entitlement."

It's important for parents to keep close tabs on their child's cell phone use and enforce those ground rules, Emerton said, and cell phone companies allow parents a number of ways to do so.

"The younger the child, the more monitoring there needs to be," Emerton said.

Some cellular phone companies, such as U.S. Cellular, can provide detailed bills for parents to review each month. Others, like Viaero, also allow their customers to view phone activity daily through the Internet.

"Kids have to get ready for life in this new century … As kids get older, you don't want to necessarily restrict them, but you want to create a sense of responsibility," Hosid said. That mindset follows the philosophy of Viaero's president, Frank DiRico, who has five children of his own.

"There is a responsibility factor, and there's a trust factor," Hosid said, "just like with anything in life.``